The First time!

Sitting late in office is something that I mostly avoid but today was so consuming that I decided to sit late for a while, just to breath, organize my desk, rearrange some papers, listen to some music and then go. I guess I just felt too bored of rushing myself to break out of work. Now that I am sitting here, the floor is almost empty; my mind is at work, processing a chain of events that induced a feeling in me that never existed...

Today morning for the first time in my life I thought “May be love is over-rated.” That’s a first, I sarcastically checked myself, but the seed is planted. For an idealist like me it’s like a death of sorts.

To negate the overpowering effect of that feeling, I am thinking of all the first times, the first time I remember when I thought the smell of Roti is an irreplaceable joy of life, the first time I heard Jagjit sing Ghalib, the first time I read an Urdu Novel, the first time I walked barefoot on the beach, the first time I saw my mother cry with joy, the first time I made tea for her, the first time I went out for dinner with friends, the first time I heard the whispers of love, the first time I blushed, the first time I saw the sunrise, the first time my brother brought his paycheck home, the first time I cooked something for my father and he kissed my hand, the first time I kissed my niece’ cheek, the first time we painted our nails together..

I thank God for all those moments..

But the melancholy of that thought have tainted my heart. All I can hope is that I will be able to shake it off but I know that I am prepared to live with it.

Any way, here’s the song that I am listening to, the first time I heard this song I secretly prayed to God to relieve this man of his despair (I was only six or seven to realize how beautiful the song is)